Wrong Again, Atheists

Flat-Topped Mountain

THE IMAGE: A curious flat-topped rock formation photographed from a precise angle that still doesn't make it look like Noah's Ark.

THE BAIT: Comforting confirmation of the Old Testament's horrific story about a capricious, genocidal supreme being who impulsively decides to kill every living thing on Earth except for a menagerie of terrified creatures packed into a hastily constructed boat by a 600-year-old man and his incestuous family.

THE TARGET: Literalist Christians who think the Bible's unfailing accuracy should be accepted as a matter of faith yet desperately search for some shred of corroborating evidence, proud hicks who despise self-important know-it-all scientists until they validate their preexisting beliefs, people who see Jesus in a taco but still eat the taco, fundamentalist drone operators, Google Earth addicts, morally upright web surfers who are relieved it isn't a giant penis but can't get that image out of their heads.

THE STUPID: So, Noah's Ark was made out of solid rock? And like a thousand times bigger than the dimensions given in the Bible? And ended up stuck on top of a low ridge that would've been completely submerged if floodwaters rose up to the highest elevations on the planet? There's a decent-sized city nestled at the base of the ridge, so I guess the ark has been hiding in plain sight. Funny, though, that no one noticed it before now.