And I'm 2021% Sure You're an Idiot

Man Holding Tumbler

THE IMAGE: A gleeful 50-year-old nitwit who looks like he could be neutralized with a paperclip proudly showing off a patriotic drinking cup that sends a powerful message of defiant cluelessness to any British Redcoats or liberal Democrats who might try to invade his Wisconsin lake house and seize the AR-15 he uses to shoot carp from the end of his dock when he's too drunk to untie his fishing boat, as is his constitutional right.

THE BAIT: The same lousy tumbler given away during corporate promotional events and excruciating "team-building" seminars, with the usual company name or logo replaced by a helpful notice that the person holding it is a dangerous nut.

THE TARGET: Gun owners who love their country so much that they dream of a day when they will be called upon to violently overthrow its democratically elected government, people who don't own guns but want to discourage strangers from striking up conversations with them at the public library, recently fired white male factory or warehouse employees who later will be described by surviving co-workers as "disgruntled," people who comment "Let's go Brandon!" seconds after literally anything is posted on CNN's Facebook page, women who somehow exhibit toxic masculinity, Lauren Boebert.

THE STUPID: In order for any product to take a nation of 330 million people "by storm," you'd think that more than maybe a few hundred undiscerning backwoods yahoos would have to purchase it, which, in this case, seems very unlikely. You'd also think that coffee-loving Rambos wouldn't be particularly enticed to whip out their overdrawn debit cards by a grinning imbecile who by all appearances shouldn't be allowed near the stove, let alone be expected to take up arms in defense of freedom. Now, slap that witty warning on a hot blonde's tight-fitting t-shirt, and you'd be in business. It's all about knowing your customers.

Comments