Let's See Those Shoes, Doll Face

Vintage Halloween Ad

THE IMAGE: A dizzy dame dressed as a witch simultaneously frightened and turned on by a creepy pumpkin-headed stranger approaching her from behind at a booze-fueled adult Halloween party that will end in a far-out orgy and/or gruesome bloodbath.

THE BAIT: Some crazy sex-themed ads that take you back to the good old days before the commie liberal woke PC cancel culture thought police took all the fun out of objectifying brainless babes.

THE TARGET: Registered sex offenders who hope viewing the photo gallery won't violate the terms of their parole, men over 75 who think they once took that sexy number out on the town, the ghost of Ichabod Crane, the ghost of Bob Crane.

THE STUPID: The featured image is from a vintage print ad for Griffin Microsheen Stain Boot Polish. It ran in 1957, not the 1970s, warning women whose primary obligation was to look presentable to potential husbands that "the goblins will get you if your shoes are dull and dingy." Though the full ad is reliably risqué, at least for the 50s (that future den mother's witch costume includes a broomstick, but no pants) and laughably outdated, I don't know who exactly the sponsor thinks would "ban" it today, or under what legal authority. I'm pretty sure that American companies still freely utilize sexist advertising without fear of reprisal, just as our all-male gender-subjugating founders intended.