Insert Your Town Here

Plane Descending Over Beach

THE IMAGE: A Royal Dutch Airlines 747 coming in for a landing just over the heads of a bunch of excited beachgoers in what will be the high point of their pointless, inconsequential lives.

THE BAIT: Images of an insanely dangerous international airport in a small town near you that somehow you never knew existed before but now definitely will avoid at all costs.

THE TARGET: People who don't know anything about the size or geographical characteristics of the locality they reside in, people who enjoy being told what not to do, people who've always lived in mortal fear of the Netherlands.

THE STUPID: There's no particular reason for anyone outside of hip-happening Western New York to know this, but Fairport is a pleasant little village on the Erie Canal with a population of 5,366. It doesn't have an airport, so huge jetliners generally don't fly there, unless we're talking about some kind of an MH-370 scenario. The reason why the headline refers to "the Fairport airport" is because this content is targeted to my IP address, which gives Fairport as my location, even though I don't actually live there. The sponsor doesn't know or care whether Fairport has an airport, good or bad, or even where Fairport is; it just utilizes some program that auto-generated "Fairport" to try to get my attention, which it did, though not with the intended result. For the record, the scene depicted in the featured image is Maho Beach, on the Caribbean island of Saint Martin, about 50 feet from Princess Juliana International Airport, and 1,900 miles from Fairport.