Black and White Lives Matter

Sexy Wild West Sheriff

THE IMAGE: A glammed-up aspiring actress / perspiring stock photo model pretending to be a 19th century Texas sheriff in the 21st century California sun, carefully keeping her Apple Watch out of the shot.

THE BAIT: A surprisingly sexy depiction of the American Wild West, heavy on saloon prostitutes.

THE TARGET: Men who've already viewed every salacious image of women taken after 1901, men who think high-quality digital black-and-white photos are really old, men with a healthy respect for law enforcement if it comes in the form of hot babes on horseback, traveling Burbank residents who miss home.

THE STUPID: Portrait of a typical Wild West sheriff: a slim 28-year-old woman in full makeup and professionally styled hair wearing a leather corset and a fashionable Kentucky Derby hat. This historic photo screams authenticity -- just don't pay attention to the hitch end of the trailer and modern buildings visible in the background. Pursuant to our strict policy of refusing to click on this craptastic content, I don't know how the headline ends; but my best guess is, "It's unbelievable how much we have ... become a nation of empty-headed ignoramuses." I'd never make it in advertising.