It Also Secretly Monitors Your Calls

Gigantic Birds Nest

THE IMAGE: Massive birds nest on a telephone pole, which the sponsor hopes resembles a giant hairy monster just enough to make you think that's the animal it's talking about and click on the link, whereupon you'll be inundated with ads designed to take full advantage your proven gullibility.

THE BAIT: Something to make your longtime fantasy about New Yorkers being mauled by resurrected woolly mammoths seem a little closer to reality.

THE TARGET: People who believe it's plausible that a species of gargantuan predatory beasts they've never heard of before resides somewhere in the mysterious, unexplored wilds between Buffalo and Westchester County, tech-addicted teenagers more perplexed by those strange elevated wires than the apparent rotting Wookiee corpse hanging on them, lazy line repairmen trying to bolster their argument for a raise.

THE STUPID: Surprisingly, this photo is not faked -- it's a picture of an impressive but non-lethal nest created by a colony of sociable weavers in the Kalahari Desert, which is almost as far away from New York State as is geographically possible. The only animals in the photo are the weavers, drab, five or six inch long birds whose sole victims are insects and grass seed. According to the CDC, the actual deadliest animal in New York is an exotic, terrifying creature called a dog.

Comments