Will Do, Thanks

Strange Weather Phenomenon

THE IMAGE: Take your pick -- is it (A) a meteorologically impossible cluster of eight simultaneous tornados coming from a single storm cloud; (B) an enormous airborne octopus wreaking havoc in eastern Kentucky; or (C) the long-awaited arrival of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, reaching down from heaven to touch His Pastafarian followers with His noodly appendages?

THE BAIT: An explanation for what the fuck you're looking at.

THE TARGET: People who don't believe in climate change but do believe in octnados, people waiting for someone to tell them when they're going to die, people who spend 75% of their waking lives warily peering out of windows, Rand Paul.

THE STUPID: A catastrophic pandemic is rampaging around the world, killing over a thousand people in the United States each and every day [YAWN], but look -- here's something really terrifying in the sky that's coming to get you just as soon as it figures out how to exist. Honestly, though -- if this ridiculous thing was real, wouldn't the sponsor make its clickbait more effective by suggesting some helpful avoidance measures, rather than advising us to "just say goodbye"? If simply seeing the thing spells our doom, then there's no reason to click for more information, is there? Giant tornado creature = instant death; got it.

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