It's NBC, Not the Spice Channel

Heidi Klum on The Ellen DeGeneres Show

THE IMAGE: Affable tyrannical egomaniac Ellen DeGeneres, on the set of "The Ellen DeGeneres Show," watching a celebrity Ellen fan reveal her "Ellen" underwear from The Ellen Shop, because, Ellen.

THE BAIT: Uncensored video of washed-up supermodel Heidi Klum stripping naked on syndicated daytime TV.

THE TARGET: Horny men who grew up drooling over the Victoria's Secret catalog but don't realize Klum is now 48, undiscriminating lesbians who still own VCRs, Seal.

THE STUPID: So, yeah, Klum kept those shorts on. Also, dudes, in case you haven't heard -- the Internet is literally awash in free porn.