Ironically, He Spent It All on Booze at a Roadside Bar

Man Showing Driver's License

THE IMAGE: A purported New York motorist who looks like Mr. Magoo proudly displaying his California driver's license while a bunch of people who are all exactly the same age, race, and size wait in line behind him to try to enter the rear service door of a petrochemical storage facility.

THE BAIT: Important information about an unexplained financial windfall you'll be receiving on some unspecified Saturday just for living in New York and not being an alcoholic.

THE TARGET: Crochety seniors who always think the government owes them money, right-wing conservatives who hate socialism until they're the ones getting a handout, drunk drivers involved in auto accidents who convinced their sober spouses to switch seats before the cops arrived.

THE STUPID: I guess the sponsor was too lazy to use a state-specific image to match its state-specific text. But we can still learn a lot about this phony New York resident from his fake California driver's license. His name is John Doe. His address is 123 Sample Street, Sacramento, California 01234. His hair is listed as brown, notwithstanding the fact that it is clearly white, and his eyes are listed as blue, despite their being hazel. He's five feet, six inches tall, and weighs 170 pounds. And he somehow convinced the DMV to take his picture with his hat on, in violation of its own regulations.

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