Gay Men Are Totally Fine With Ted Cruz's Heterosexuality

Ted Cruz

THE IMAGE: Universally reviled slimeball Senator Ted Cruz, in a photo that accurately depicts him as an ass, but which the sponsor thinks makes him look gay.

THE BAIT: Shocking revelation that "traditional family" conservative Cruz is actually gay, providing what would be the 10,089th example of his shameless hypocrisy.

THE TARGET: People who hate Ted Cruz, equivalent to every person on Earth minus Ted Cruz.

THE STUPID: Ted Cruz is not gay. His "partner" is his well-oiled Stepford wife, Heidi, who Ted chivalrously defended after she was attacked by Donald Trump in 2016, then threw under the bus along with the rest of his family when he was trying to deflect blame for fleeing to Cancun during last spring's deadly Texas deep freeze. No response from Lindsey Graham.