For Some Strange Reason Medicare Doesn't Cover This

Woman Using Lung Cleaning Device

THE IMAGE: A middle-aged woman inserting something into her mouth that looks like a cross between a pencil sharpener and a crack pipe.

THE BAIT: A revolutionary new at-home device guaranteed to effortlessly reverse lung damage that the money-hungry medical establishment doesn't want you to find out about.

THE TARGET: Defiant smokers who always knew that it was just a matter of time until cutting-edge technology swooped in to rescue them from the consequences of doing something incredibly dumb for decades, anti-maskers looking for a back-up plan in case COVID-19 turns out to be real, people who take Prevagen.

THE STUPID: This pallid broad definitely looks like a smoker (she's even received several medals for smoking, proudly displayed on the wall behind her), but the crystal clear exhaled air in the transparent receptacle of her "lung cleaning" device seems to indicate that her lungs were already pristine. Why the quotation marks around "lung cleaning" -- does the sponsor think that will ward off a consumer fraud action? How is this thing "all-natural" -- is it made out of all-natural plastic? And if a miracle health device really was "taking [the] United States by storm," don't you think you would have been aware of it before spotting a badly disguised ad below the text of a CNN article about the deteriorating situation in Afghanistan?