Couldn't You Just Walk?

Curved Trees

THE IMAGE: Whimsically shaped trees in a peaceful, sun-drenched forest that somehow put you in mortal danger.

THE BAIT: Confirmation of your long-held belief that every living thing on Earth is trying to kill you.

THE TARGET: Amazon warehouse employees on their ten-minute food and urination breaks who haven't seen a tree of any kind since they drove to a nearby office park last month to cry, the 27 people in North America who sat through The Happening all the way to the end, meth addicts, paranoid beavers with Internet access.

THE STUPID: These are pine trees in Poland's "Crooked Forest," a well-known regional tourist attraction. It's thought that their strange shape was caused by some human technique used to induce the trunks to bend, possibly to create curved timber for furniture or shipbuilding. According to botanical experts, the trees are not evil, do not strangle unsuspecting visitors, and will not chase you if you run away screaming to the befuddlement of your Polish tour guide.